Behind Every Great Kid...

Is a Mom who is sure she is screwing him up!

Tom has heard me stress about this so much in the past year that when he saw the card in the store on the Saturday night before Mother's Day, he bought it. Which makes me think that if it's at Hallmark, maybe it's not just me who is stressing about their kids.

It seems that we get trained for everything - driving, cooking, sports - but we don't necessarily get training for motherhood. It's on the job training only and if you do happen to get it wrong, you don't get your grade for 18 years! That is some huge pressure! Most days I don't think about it, but this past year the pressure has added a few wrinkles to my brow.

A few examples:

1. All I did was correct my children today. ie, 'Don't chew with your mouth open' and 'Remember your manners'...Did I even say something positive to them today?

2. I remained calm during 45 minutes of their 50 minute bickering and then I lost it in the last 5 minutes...I like to call it my shock and awe approach to parenting.

3. I couldn't take the on-slaught of the word 'weiner' while eating brats tonight, not to mention the laughter that ensued after each mention of the word. I ate alone in the coat closet...will they ever get over toilet talk?

4. Sports...we didn't start at age 3, are my boy's chances at being good over?

5. Fighting, tattleing, hitting. If they really wanted to torture terrorists they would put them in a room with 3 siblings for 8 hours. World peace would prevail within weeks. Instead, I keep a bottle of Pinot Grigio on hand at all times. Did I really crack it open at 3:30 today?

These are the things that keep me up at night. Or, when things get really rough, these are the things that keep Tom up all night because I'm asking him over and over if he thinks I'm messing them up.

And then a new day arrives and I'm given a second chance to start over again. And again. And again. And, they do seem somewhat normal, even polite on some days. But, I've got 10 years left til my first report card. Stay tuned.

Oh, and Happy Mothers day. Let's hope I get it right more often than not this year!