Today I am getting organized. The office always seems the last to get TLC, so on a rainy Saturday it seems the thing to do. My biggest issue is the stack of CDs waiting to be imported to iTunes so that I can finally send them off to Goodwill. Who listens to CDs anymore?
Music holds memories...highschool, college, and a trip to Europe many, many, many years ago. I guess I could look at this task one of two ways - (1)great memories or (2)that I am getting old. Especially as I download The Cranberries. (Are they around at all?)
But, the biggest surprise came when I opened a R.E.M. cd. It took my breath away as I looked at the initials marked by a sharpie more that 17 years ago. Not my own initials, but GSB - Gregory Scott Blauwkamp. My big brother. The letters are formed just the way I remembered them - from a hand that was very meticulous and trained in engineering ways. But, as I looked a bit longer, I also saw the letters written from a young hand, probably 20 at the time. I haven't seen that handwriting in a 17 years and sadly, I never will again. It shocks me that my own handwriting has changed to show time and years, yet these three letters stay young.
We've all heard the words 'only the good die young.' In many ways, dying young saves us from the hardships of growing old. But it also takes away many dreams - from the one that is gone and from the ones who spent many days looking at that young child and wondering what they would accomplish.
On this cold, rainy Saturday, I wonder where Greg would be if the car accident wouldn't have happened. Would he be proud of his little sister? Would he still think I was annoying, as big brothers often do? I miss him everyday and I thank God for little presents...like three handwritten letters from long ago.
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